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20 Baby Jokes So Good You'll Be Sick In Your Bib

Have a giggle at these goo-goo-gaa-gaamazing baby jokes and puns! Guaranteed to have even the grumpiest toddler in fits of laughter!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  November 8th 2023

Everyone loves babies! And everyone loves laughing too - so this adorable list of baby jokes is sure to be a winner! Read on to fill your nappy with 20 of the finest and most infantile jokes and puns! Not the baby type? No worries - we have lots more jokes to choose from! Just take a look at some of these...

We've got dolphin jokes! We've got window jokes! We've even got rainbow jokes! So many jokes!

But you're not here for those - you're here for the bouncing baby gags, right? We'll let's get giggling!

My baby just ate a bunch of scrabble tiles

The next nappy change could spell disaster!

What do you call a baby potato?

A small fry!

When do parents change the most baby diapers?

In the wee wee hours!

What do babies usually play in a band?

Guitars with Waah! Waah! Pedals!

Why is that baby still in nappies?

Two reasons: number 1 and number 2!

If a baby refuses to go to sleep…

Is she resisting arrest?

Why do we dress babies in onesies?

Because they can’t dress themselves!

How do you get an astronaut’s baby to sleep?

You rocket!

How warm is a baby at birth?

Womb temperature!

Why did the baby cry at 1 am, 3 am and 5 am?

Why not?

What do baby pythons play with?


Who held the baby octopus for ransom?


A friend asked me if she should have a baby after 40

I said no, 40 babies are enough!

Why did the baby biscuit cry?

Because its parents were a wafer so long!

What do you call a baby air conditioner?

An in-fan-t!

How does a baby pizza look?


What's a baby's favourite drink?


What do you call a baby birthed while skydiving?


What did the guitarist call their baby daughter?

Amanda Lynn!

What do search engine do babies use?

Google Ga Ga!

A baby