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The Ultimate Beano Would You Rather Quiz!

Get inside the heads of Dennis, Gnasher and their friends and make some tricky decisions in this awesome quiz!

Beano Quiz Team
Last Updated:  January 10th 2023

In the brand new Beano Would You Rather? book, Dennis, Gnasher and their friends put their Numskulls to the test and consider all manner of weird and wacky would you rather questions. To give you a taste of the book – which has over 200 brain-bending choices – here are 10 tricky questions which need some extremely serious thought!

1/10 Would you rather...

Dennis and Piecface react to a surprise test
Pieface chases a rolling pie


  • Win £10,000, but never eat a pie again in your life 0.9 %
  • Owe Dennis £1,000, but receive 10,000 pies? 0.1 %

2/10 Would you rather...

Dennis and Gnasher in a smelly fart cloud
A bowl of sausages and mash, plus a fart cloud


  • Your farts smell like cupcakes but you must go on a sausage-free diet one month a year 0.8 %
  • You have sausages on demand, but all your farts smell like rotten eggs 0.2 %

3/10 Would you rather...

Stevie lying in a field
Stevie Star in a Beanotown street


  • Become forever famous for falling on your face in a cowpat 0.3 %
  • Become famous for just 15 minutes for pulling a cool stunt 0.7 %

4/10 Would you rather...

Rubi and JJ outside school


  • Become the smartest person on the planet, but your best invention is a pill that makes people’s farts smell of raspberries 0.5 %
  • You become stupid as soon as you become an adult, but before you do, you manage to invent a teleportation device? 0.5 %

5/10 Would you rather...


  • Have the brain of a yeti but the body of a human 0.3 %
  • The brain of a human but the body of a yeti 0.7 %

6/10 Would you rather...

Calamity James Beano Superstar profile


  • Become the world’s luckiest kid, but you’re terrified of everything 0.6 %
  • Remain the world’s unluckiest kid, but you’re not afraid of anything 0.4 %

7/10 Would you rather...

Roger running out of the school gates
Roger in a stinky cloud


  • Get out of doing homework for a month, but you accidentally call the teacher mum in front of the whole school 0.7 %
  • Organise the best prank in front of the whole school, but you get double homework for a year because of it 0.3 %

8/10 Would you rather...


  • Have the head of a dog but the body of a human 0.6 %
  • The body of a dog but the head of a man 0.4 %

9/10 Would you rather...

Dangerous Dan in a shed


  • Live in a giant castle but with no wi-fi 0.2 %
  • Live in a shed full of the latest technology 0.8 %

10/10 Would you rather...

Harsha running down the street
Harsha looking worried


  • Come up with the best, most flamboyant pranks, but all of them backfire and wind up injuring someone 0.3 %
  • Your pranks all go perfectly, but they’re so tiny that no one even notices them 0.7 %

The Beano Would You Rather? book is out now and you can get it from the Beano shop and all good booksellers!