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20 Best Salmon Jokes That Will Go Down Swimmingly

These salmon jokes are a whole load of fin! Check out these funny salmon jokes and see if any are g-roe-an worthy!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 2nd 2022

Check out these funny salmon jokes for oceans of laughs! And if you liked these, check out more fish jokes here! Maybe you fancy some lobster laughs with these lobster jokes? Or how about these delightful dolphin jokes? There's also these silly squid jokes! And for more great gags and puns, check out our jokes hub!

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Where does a salmon deposit checks?

The river bank!

What sort of nuts do fish eat?

Salmonds!

What does a Salmon say when it swims into a wall?

Dam!

Why did the salmon cross the road?

To get to the other tide!

Why do Salmon only watch stuff online?

They prefer streams!

Can a salmon be contained?

No, but a tuna can!

What do you give a salmon on its birthday?

Fish cakes!

What do you call a boat full of salmon eggs?

A roe boat!

Why did the fish feel sick?

She had salmonella!

Why did the salmon miss the party?

He was too cool for the main stream!

Do you know what it's like to be a fish?

I don't, but I'll Alaska salmon!

A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant

The waiter says 'Sorry, we don’t serve fish!'

What should you say to a heartbroken salmon?

'There's plenty more fish in the sea!'

I'd like to catch a fish...

But I think I'll leave it to salmon else!

What do you call the language used by fish?

Salmon-tics!

What did one fish say to the other?

'I need salmon like you!'

What happens if you cross a fish with chocolate spread?

Salmonella!

I wouldn't trust that salmon if I were you...

He seems a little fishy!

What's a salmon's least favourite day of the week?

Fry day!

Why should you never email a salmon?

You'll have to wait ages for a re-spawn-se!